The 37 Stages of Making a Drawing

dachshund painting.jpg

1) I have a half-baked idea for a drawing.
2) I will bake it!
3) I am drawing. It has possibilities! 
4) Still drawing. Something kind of cool is happening but I will probably ruin it. 
5) I think it needs a LOT there, but that might ruin it. 
6) Remember the successful artist who reminded me that I'm not practicing brain surgery? What is the consequence of a bad drawing? No one dies! 
7) The consequence is I could ruin it; despair. 
8) Well, hell, I'm going to make it really dark there anyway. Damn the torpedoes!
9) Hey, that worked. (Flap arms to air out flop sweat.) 
10) Keep going, though. 
11) I'd be better with better supplies. (Note to self: Trip to the art supplies store this weekend.) 
12) Is it done? I think it's done. 
13) It is absolutely NOT done, for cryin' out loud. Draw more.
14) NOW is it done? 
15) It could be done-ish.
16) Looks pretty good. I'll show spouse.
17) Spouse loves! Says it's done!
18) Hmmn. Spouse is not an artist. Approval does not count. 
19) But do I love it? 
20) It's literally the best thing I've ever done. Not just drawing. IN. MY. LIFE. 
21) I'll post it to social media. 
22) (20 minutes later) I wonder how it looks on my phone? 
23) Looks pri-tee good! I am a GENIUS! I cannot stand my bad self! I am too sexy for my pencils! Hahahah.
24) (90 minutes later) Wonder how it looks now that I haven't looked at it in 90 minutes? 
25) Looks good! Well, looks OK. I probably should have refined that spot. 
26) (2.5 hours later) I wonder how it looks now. (Pause to look.) God, it's such a cliche. It's a Me Cliche. It looks like everything else I have every done. Wrong. It looks like everything I have done wrong. Not just in art, but in my life. It looks like a big suitcase filled with mistakes and existential failure.
27) Why does God make us want to create art and then give us limited skills? (Note to self: must re-watch "Amadeus." Was Salieri's existence a waste of a life?)
28) I should delete it so no one else can see it. 
29) Don't be stupid. 
30) Not stupid. It is the worst thing I have ever drawn. 
31) I think I will make a mental inventory of all my terrible work. 
32) (three hours later) I am the worst person who ever lived. Except the fascists.
33) But I still want to draw. 
34) But I have no ideas. 
35) I will think of one
36) I have a half-baked idea. 
37) I will bake it.